13 Ways to Ease the Transition Back to School

Can you believe it, the long summer vacation is nearly over? The next few weeks mark a delicate and crucial transition for your child or teen… a transition that can influence their success and wellbeing for the year ahead. If your child is switching schools, has learning, social or family problems the transition can be more difficult.

Some of the success of this coming transition is down to factors outside your control, but there are many ways you can prepare to smooth the process.

13 ways to prepare for the big return to school

• Before school returns

1. Health and wellbeing

Organize any medical or dental appointments needed to ensure your child returns to school in good health. Ensure that health forms are completed and sent to the school nurse or team coaches.

2. School information

Check the mail and email for communications from the school. Mark essential dates on your calendar for the coming year, put reminders on your phone for events (practice times etc), print of the schedule and check that paperwork is up to date. If your child has additional needs consider getting in touch with teachers to let them know about your child. Don’t assume they will have been given all the relevant info on your child, or that they have had time to read it. Check and check again, if there are any assignments that are not yet completed. There is nothing worse than having to read a novel, watch a movie and write a report on the last day of the vacation… believe me, we have been there!

3. Buy stuff

If you haven’t already get a list of supplies from the school, then shop. Go early in the day to avoid the craziness at the store. These lists seem to be commonly available for younger children.  For teens, they may not find out until the first week, but there is no harm in stocking up on writing paper and plain folders. The week before school starts is a great time to sort out their closet: completely empty it and only return clothes that fit and are still wearable. Then plan a clothes shopping trip, with a comprehensive list of what’s needed (if you’re savvy you’ll keep a look out for sales and tax-free offers). Always check the school’s clothing policy before you spend a fortune on clothes that are unsuitable. If you work or are short on time online shopping is the way forward, but allow time for delivery.

4. Begin to switch the routine

Over the week before school starts, gradually shift bed-time and mealtimes towards the school routine. You may want to take advantage of any good habits learned at summer camp, such as bed-making in the morning and make this the new norm. You may want to formally document the house rules for the year ahead and discuss it with your child. For example: “no screen time Monday-Thursday until all homework is completed” or “bedtime is at 7… 9… or 11 on school nights” . If you have a difficult child, consider getting them to sign the house rules so that there are no arguments later. You may also want to consider putting a reward system in place, to encourage your child to follow the rules.

5. Visit the school

If your child is moving schools or is unsettled by change, try and visit the school and check out the new classrooms, locker, dining hall etc. For children with special needs, a social story with photographs can be a great aid for transition. If you have moved or if it’s a new school, practice the journey to and from school, and be explicit. We moved one year during the summer, one year and on the first day I lost both my middle schoolers… one got off at the wrong stop and snuck in the house while I was at the bus stop and the other decided to walk to town with a friend, all in the pouring rain. The bus company must have thought I was crazy, calling them to ask the whereabouts of both my kids… not a good start to the year!

6. Create new habits

Always frustrated that your kids dump their bag on the stairs or don’t take their shoes off? The beginning of the school year is a great time to develop new tidy habits. Tell your child exactly where things are to be put, and EVERY time you find something out of place, call them back to correct their error, no matter what they are doing. Soon it will be more trouble to be messy than to put things in the right place, at the outset.

7. Plan the first week’s meals

Reduce your own stress by planning meals for the week ahead… once less thing to worry about when the craziness begins. If your child is taking a packed lunch, review their tastes and plan a healthy lunch. If they are buying lunch discuss your rules for this… yes some kids think a muffin and bag of chips are a balanced meal.

• The first days

8. Keep your schedule simple

Your child may need you to be available to pick up the slack in the coming days, so try and minimize your outside commitments. That way you can be available for whatever the first days throw at your and your child.

9. Be organized

Set alarms for wake-up and activities and leave plenty of time to get things done. Go through their bag with them every night to check if there are letters to be signed, supplies to be bought, first night assignments etc. Be patient and empathic towards your child, who may be finding things a little overwhelming

10. Talk to your child

Make sure your child knows that they can talk to you. You know your child best… some like to tell you every detail, others like to shrug and grunt. Keep the avenues of communication open and don’t push it. Listen without judgement and offer advice sparingly… they need to figure some things out for themselves. Try not to overschedule them in the first weeks, they may be very tired. Tell them stories of your childhood and times you messed up, children love to hear that their parents are human too.

11. Get involved

Attend school events as much as your schedule and patience allow.  Inform teachers that you would like to be informed of problems early on.  Try and get to know any professionals your child may have contact with on a regular basis such as the school nurse if they have a health problem or the counselor if they have behavioral problems.

12. Plan ahead

If your child has a big year ahead, such as senior year of High School, start planning early. There are lots of tools and checklists online, so utilize them, that way you won’t get caught out with deadlines and make an already stressful time much worse. For kids in other grades, try and find out if there are big projects during the school year, that your child might need help with.

13. Reward yourself

No matter how the summer has gone, plan a little reward for yourself… a haircut, coffee with a friend you’ve missed over the summer, a yoga class or just some simple “me-time”… you deserve it! Think about what you want to achieve in the year ahead… return to work, learn to paint, apply for a promotion, climb a mountain, volunteer, take a class… whatever it is, now is the time to start planning to optimize your year ahead.

With a whole new school year dawning, now is the perfect time to get organized and ahead of the game and minimize potential stress for you, your child and your whole family and make 2015-16 a fabulous year!

Written by Dr Leonaura Rhodes

Author of “Beyond Soccer Mom: strategies for a fabulous balanced life”, Health and Happiness Coach, physician, neuroscience geek and busy mom.

Image courtesy of iStock.

courtesy iStock

7 steps to better mental health

May is Mental Health Month in the USA. Just last week I was talking to a coaching client about their loved one’s depression, and she said to me “but mental illness is not as bad as a real illness”. This perception that mental illness is not real or that it is not severely debilitating and sometimes even life threatening, is endemic in our society. It  leads to the continued taboo, inequitable health insurance provision (try getting cognitive behavioral therapy on insurance, in CT) and intolerance of society and employers to people suffering from mental health problems.

The CDC defines Mental Health as the “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.” Mental health is a continuum that includes serious mental illness such as bipolar disorder, anorexia, psychosis, depression, anxiety, dementia and chronic stress through to positive, optimal mental health (estimated in only 17% of Americans).

Mental Illness is defined as “health conditions that are characterized by alterations in thinking, mood, or behavior (or some combination thereof) associated with distress and/or impaired functioning.” Studies suggest that mental illness affects about 25% of American adults and will affect nearly 50% in their lifetime. Most common of all the mental illnesses, depression affects an estimated 26% of adults and is on the rise. By 2020 depression will be second only to heart disease in the causes of worldwide disability. And it’s not just adults who suffer, the National Alliance for Mental Health estimates that approximately 20 percent of 13 to 18 year olds experience severe mental disorders in a given year. For ages 8 to 15, the estimate is 13 percent.

What about the financial costs of mental illness? Well,  in 2008 serious mental illness was estimated to cost the US economy $193.2 billion in lost earnings per year. “Lost earning potential, costs associated with treating coexisting conditions, Social Security payments, homelessness and incarceration are just some of the indirect costs associated with mental illnesses that have been difficult to quantify,” said NIMH Director Thomas R. Insel, M.D. The indirect costs to the individual and their families of reduced quality of life, energy, and attention, damaged relationships and lost opportunities are immeasurable.

I hope I have convinced you that mental illness is real and significant… and it’s not going away!

Preventing mental illness, optimizing positive mental health

For too long, the medical profession has focused its’ attention solely on the treatment of mental illness. When I trained as a physician and counsellor in the UK, there was no mention of prevention. In Public Health we did talk about prevention, but this rarely filtered down the frontline doctors or to the public. There is a wealth of evidence that in the majority of people mental health can be improved, and mental illness prevented or treated in the early stages, with simple measures, before it becomes disabling. So what can we do as individuals to improve, optimize and stabilize our mental health?

Courtesy of iStock

Seven steps to better mental health

Be healthy: like any other organ in your body, healthy lifestyle improves the health and function of the brain. Factors like diet, exercise, sleep, hydration and avoidance of poisons such as cigarettes and excessive alcohol are essential to improving your mental health.

Be connected: we humans are social animals, we thrive when we surround ourselves with positive people. Take notice of which relationships make you feel good… and those that sap your energy. Spend more time with those positive people, limit time with toxic people or if they are close to you, look for ways to improve the relationship. People love helping people, so if you are suffering reach out to those positive people and ask for support, they will gain as much from helping you, as you will gain from their help. It’s win-win.

Be inquisitive: science has shown that our brain is constantly rewiring itself, and new learning keeps it healthy. Learn a new hobby, skill, sport, art, instrument or language or delve deeper into an area of interest or explore your world. The “flow-state” which is achieved when we are highly focused on a meaningful task that we enjoy, is medicine for our minds.

Be generous: when we give our time, energy, support or money to others, it is good for our brain and mind. Not only that it makes the world a better place. Whether you are giving to your children, to help them grow, your community, a cause, religious group or charity, it is all beneficial to you and to them.

Be positive: neuroscience research shows that negative thinking is bad for your brain and body, positive thinking is good for it. If you are a “glass half empty” person, you would benefit from learning to shift the direction of your thoughts. Negative thinking is just a bad habit… it can be overcome by introducing and practicing the new habit of positive thinking. This may sound obvious but it can be challenging to do. An expert coach or therapist may be able to help you.

Be mindful: there is a rapidly increasing body of evidence of the benefits of mindfulness practice to our physical and mental health. Mindfulness is the practice of becoming aware of the flow of your thoughts and energy and then learning to exert some control over them. Practices range from diaphragmatic breathing, gratitude journaling, meditation, prayer and yoga through to simply taking a mindful walk in nature. Short periods of mindfulness give you a brief, yet significant break from the stresses of the day.

Be playful: it’s hard to be sad or anxious when you are having fun or laughing, as this gives you a boost of powerful endorphins, the happy chemicals.  Take time daily to laugh, have fun, be silly and playful: Watch your favorite comedy movie; play with your children or your pet; dance around the kitchen to your favorite song or take a zumba class with your best friend!

The quality of your mental health is essential to the quality of your life. Don’t wait until depression, anxiety or dementia strike… take control of your brain with some positive action today.

Sources:

• Center for Disease Control

• National Alliance on Mental Health

• NHS UK

Stress… the productivity and engagement thief

Stress costs the US economy $300 billion per year. Most people are aware of the negative effects of stress on physical and mental health, but what about the effect of stress on focus, engagement and productivity?

 

How stress affects engagement, focus and productivity

Well it’s all to do with brain function and arousal. Stress is the body’s reaction to events in life or the work stimulus. Some stress can be positive: the brain and body become energized (known in neuroscience as “arousal”), brain function, motivation, focus, engagement and productivity increase. But there is a tipping point, when increasing arousal begins to affect brain function and focus, engagement and productivity decline. And this is the negative stress, that is commonly referred to as “stress”.

The image shows the the relationship between performance and arousal of the brain, for a cognitively challenging task (known as Yerkes-Dobson law). Simple or habitual tasks and those requiring stamina and persistence show a different relationship: increasing arousal leads to improved motivation and performance.

The effects of stress on the brain, are not global. Stress causes deterioration in function of some parts of the brain more than others. World-renowned psychiatrist and brain researching maverick Daniel Amen has showed that stress affects frontal lobes (executive function center), cerebellum (balance center) and amygdala, hippocampus and temporal lobes (emotional and memory centers). The consequences of this include negative effects on motivation, focus, judgement, impulse control, empathy, balance and coordination, emotional regulation, response to events  and memory.

Stress and the business world

So what’s the relevance of all this to the business world? Well stress and burnout are increasingly common in the workforce. Not only does this impact the health and wellbeing of the individual employees, but it also reduces focus, engagement and productivity… and ultimately the bottom line… profit. I have a question for you: “If you knew there were serious inefficiencies in your business would you ignore them?” I’m guessing the answer is “NO”. Now I’ve just explained why stress is so bad for performance, causing significant inefficiencies among your workforce. So my next question is “Are you doing everything you can to reduce stress among your employees?”

The good news is that most people can learn to better manage their stress and when they do… you guessed it… focus, engagement and productivity improve. Most of the chronic effects of stress are reversible. Learning to manage stress must begin with education. Most people would rather not be stressed, but they lack the knowledge and skills to prevent and reduce it. A good stress management program will include strategies to identify sources of stress and deal with any that are reversible, improve the health of body and mind, so the response to stress will be appropriate and development of a stress management toolkit.

If you are a CEO, CFO, manager or HR specialist, I urge you to look into programs to help your employees manage stress, it might end up being one of the best investments you ever make.

To learn more about how to reduce in your workplace visit: www.WellbeingInYourWorkplace.com

Health is your Greatest Wealth

Now I know I am a doctor and I would say this, but Health is Your Greatest Wealth!

When you have good health you have energy, vitality and zest for life. With good health it is easier to have wellbeing in the other areas of your life such as career, finances and personal growth.

The absence of health is disease, discomfort, pain and suffering. In this state it is so much harder to have wellbeing in other areas of your life. And of course, the absence of health in the extreme is death: the absence of life.

We all have a responsibility to ourselves and our family to take our health seriously. To value it, cherish it and work hard to protect it.

A simple way to look at health is like your finances. You have health liabilities and health assets.

Simply put the way to increase your health is to increase your health assets and decrease your health liabilities.

Balance of health

Increase your health assets

• Genetics (while you can’t change your genes but you can do things to stop certain genes being triggered)
• Nutritious diet
• Positive thinking
• Self-regulation (learning to control certain body and brain functions)
• Exercise
• Sleep
• Healthy habits
• Positive relationships

 

Decrease your health liabilities

Known in the medical field as risk factors! There are some health liabilities that you can’t do much about like genetic risk factors or being born with an inoperable physical deformity. However one risk factor does not define your outcome.

Health liabilities include:

• Dehydration
• Lack of Exercise
• Unhealthy habits
• Not seeking medical advice for health problems
• Contact or ingestion of poisons (such as smoking) or unhealthy food products
• Physical harm
• Emotional harm including stress
• Extremes of weight
• Poor hygiene such as oral and skin

For more advice on protecting your greatest asset: your health visit…

www.positivehealthandwellbeing.com

or email drleonaura@positivehealthandwellbeing.com

The Art Of Happiness

Every now and then the world is shaken by the death of a celebrity from suicide. The tragic suspected suicide of Robin Williams this week is just the latest. The loss of another unique, amazing man, way before his time.

 

I have experienced professionally and personally the devastating effects of mental illness, addictions, attempted suicide and suicide itself. Working in the ER as a physician I encountered the brutal reality that life is extremely fragile and that it can be ended in a moment.  My decision to name myself a “Health and Happiness Coach” comes from the realization that physical and mental health are incredibly precious, without them it’s very hard to thrive.

 

It’s difficult to write about mental illness without sounding a little trite. Each of us experiences it in our own unique way and we can never fully understand another person’s life. So I would like to share my personal perspective.

 

I have struggled with depression and anxiety most of my adult life. There have been dark times, when I contemplated self-harm, when the struggle to go on just seemed too great. I have been fortunate not to suffer from drug or alcohol addictions, which make mental health so much more difficult to sustain.

 

My personal journey to take control of the demons of my own mind, began after my sons were very sick as infants and nearly died. I felt that the Universe was against me and that life was too much of a great struggle. I remember feeling like I was at the bottom of a deep, dark, scary pit, at the top of the pit people were offering help but it was just too deep and dark for me to access their help.

 

A trip to a thrift store changed my life. Browsing through the dog-eared books, a title lept out at me: “The Art Of Happiness” by the Dalai Lama and Harold Cutter. There is a story in the book that changed my perspective instantly. It is the story of a mother whose only child dies, she visits Buddha and asks to have her child returned. Buddha tells her to gather seeds from three families that had never suffered loss. Of course her quest is unsuccessful. I learned that loss and misfortune are inevitable parts of life, but suffering is optional. I also learned that we hold the key to our own happiness, that happiness comes from within and not from extrinsic sources such as fame, wealth, belongings and accomplishment. This may seem obvious to you, but when trapped in the depths of depression, it was not to me. My personal journey continues, as my mind is influenced and shaped by the ever changing and unpredictable weather of life.

 

It is a harsh truth that your thoughts are your reality, at least in the moment. Many people live every day with negative, crooked thoughts flooding their mind. Every life is precious and each of us deserves to flourish. We owe it to ourselves, our families, our society to continually strive to become mindful of our thoughts and to seek ways to increase our mental well-being and that of those around us, to learn the Art of Happiness.

For more information on how to improve your health, happiness, success and abundance, please visit: www.drleonaurarhodes.com

The Art Of Happiness

Why this Brit Loves Thanksgiving

As a Brit living in the US, I was a little bemused by Thanksgiving at first. In the UK, we celebrated “Harvest” with a cute assembly at my kids school and a collection of cans of soup and beans for the elderly.  But on the eve of my fifth US Thanksgiving I have come to consider Thanksgiving my favorite “holiday”. When we strip away the commercialization and overeating of Thanksgiving, it is essentially a day for gratitude and gratitude is good for you and a day devoted to gratitude can only be a wonderful thing!

Now I am a neuroscience geek, out and proud and mounting neuroscience research shows that practicing gratitude is good for you! Martin Selligman, founder of Positive Psychology asserts that the acknowledgement and expression of gratitude is good for health, wellbeing and relationships. In Change your Brain, Change your Body Daniel Amen reports that gratitude improves function in key areas of the brain enhancing cognitive ability, coordination and emotional regulation.

Gratitude is a powerful tool to reduce stress and increase wellbeing because it focuses your attention on the good things in your life, past and present. Often we get caught up in our busy lives and fail to stop for a moment and notice the good things and to celebrate them, no matter how small. That is why I have created this gratitude meditation to share with the world, so if you have just 5 minutes to spare, I’d love you to listen, you never know it might just be good for your brain!

Click the link to take a soak in the power of gratitude:

http://www.drleonaurarhodes.com/gratitude-meditation/

So this Thanksgiving, I am grateful for many things, many people, my life, my health and my happiness. What are you grateful for?

 

A Magic Wand for Moms

In my recent Magic Wand Survey 44% of moms said they wanted less stress in their life, 22% wanted to feel less burdened, 20% wanted less worry. The really good news is that there is a possible “magic wand” to reduce all of these things, but like any good “magic”, you have to believe in it! So if you have any doubt about the effectiveness of meditation I hope to di”spel” it now with some science!

Meditation has been practiced for thousands of years, as part of religious and contemplative practice. But in the last decade research has proven the claims that meditation improves health and wellbeing to be true.

Our brain is constantly being restructured in response to our experiences in life, this restructuring is called “neuroplasticity”.

Prominent psychiatrist and brain researcher Dan Siegel recommends daily mindfulness meditation “even if it’s just for 5 minutes a day” can reduce stress and over-arousal of the brain. It can also help us develop an insight into how our mind functions and this can help improve all aspects of our life: academic, social and emotional intelligence, relationships, performance and health (Mindsight by Daniel Siegel).

In his most recent book Unleash the Power of the Female Brain, neuroscience guru, Daniel Amen explains that women’s brains are wired differently to men’s. Women have lower serotonin (happy neurochemical), worry more, have trouble switching off, ruminate more often (thoughts going round and round), overfocus on problems, more sleep and pain issues, more anxiety, depression, body image issues, eating disorders, perfectionism. Don’t you just love being a women!

There are some strengths to having a female brain: we tend to live longer (surprising given the list above), we look after our health more, we seek support more readily, we have better judgment, empathy and self control and we are less likely to suffer with substance abuse or go to prison. PHEW!

Amen’s incredible SPECT scan research shows that meditation can change the function of the brain. Changes include: improved function of the Prefrontal cortex (the brain’s CEO: focus, attention, planning, impulse control, insight), temporal lobes (memory, language, emotion regulation, spirituality) and deep brain structures reducing anxiety and worry. His research also showed that meditation improves sleep, reduces cognitive decline, reduces muscle tension, improves skin condition (yes, actually makes you look younger), aids weight loss, reduces muscle tension and perception of pain and reduces cortisol (stress hormone).

So if meditation is this amazing, why is everyone not doing it daily? My recent study showed that only 30% of moms (who completed the study) have ever meditated and 82% of moms were interested in learning to meditate. The reasons moms were not meditating busy-ness, lack of time, poor time management, conflicting demands, feeling self-conscious and they they don’t know how. So moms have spoken and I have listened! Introducing Meditation 4 Moms…

Meditation4Moms is a 14 day free meditation program, designed specifically for busy mothers. Each unique meditation is only 5 minutes long. Meditations include: take a break from stress, enhancing energy, cultivating compassion and the art of happiness and there are bonus exercises to complete with your children. So if you are a mother who wants a more fabulous balanced life, what have you got to lose? Sign up at www.meditation4moms.com and take a journey towards more health, happiness and success! Invite your friends to join you in your meditation travels!

Stressed Moms Rejoice!

There’s no doubt about it stress is bad for you! Stress is the emotional and physical reaction to events in life, it’s effects can be positive like getting more motivated or energized BUT for most people stress refers to the negative kind of stress, the negative stress, with inappropriate and negative effects.

Many moms suffer from chronic stress and over time physical and emotional health problems may arise. Chronic stress also leads to problems with focus, attention, performance, relationships and parenting.

Managing stress is a 3 step process:

1. identify and reduce sources of stress if possible
2. improve the health of body and brain so you are less susceptible to stress
3. reduce the impact of stress, when it occurs.

Meditation is a powerful stress reliever and has been shown to improve the health of the mind and body and improve insight, so that you can identify and reduce sources of stress. I tell people “meditation is like a magic wand against stress”.

My recent survey of mothers revealed that over 70% of mothers don’t meditate. Reasons for not meditating include lack of time, busy-ness, distractibility and not knowing how to. 81% of mothers were interested in learning to meditate.

This research led me to create Meditation4Moms a free meditation program for mothers, to show how with just 5 minutes of meditation moms can begin to create a new daily habit, which will transform their lives from stressed to serene and from harrassed to happy and healthy! Visit www.meditation4moms.com to join the program and invite any friends who deserve a fabulous balanced life too!

Health is your Greatest Wealth

Now I know I am a doctor and I would say this, but Health is Your Greatest Wealth!

When you have good health you have energy, vitality and zest for life. With good health it is easier to have wellbeing in the other areas of your life such as career, finances and personal growth.

The absence of health is disease, discomfort, pain and suffering. In this state it is so much harder to have wellbeing in other areas of your life. And of course, the absence of health in the extreme is death: the absence of life.

We all have a responsibility to ourselves and our family to take our health seriously. To value it, cherish it and work hard to protect it.

A simple way to look at health is like your finances. You have health liabilities and health assets.

Simply put the way to increase your health is to increase your health assets and decrease your health liabilities.

Balance of health

Increase your health assets

• Genetics (while you can’t change your genes but you can do things to stop certain genes being triggered)
• Nutritious diet
• Positive thinking
• Self-regulation (learning to control certain body and brain functions)
• Exercise
• Sleep
• Healthy habits
• Positive relationships

 

Decrease your health liabilities

Known in the medical field as risk factors! There are some health liabilities that you can’t do much about like genetic risk factors or being born with an inoperable physical deformity. However one risk factor does not define your outcome.

Health liabilities include:

• Dehydration
• Lack of Exercise
• Unhealthy habits
• Not seeking medical advice for health problems
• Contact or ingestion of poisons (such as smoking) or unhealthy food products
• Physical harm
• Emotional harm including stress
• Extremes of weight
• Poor hygiene such as oral and skin

For more advice on protecting your greatest asset: your health visit…

www.positivehealthandwellbeing.com

or email drleonaura@positivehealthandwellbeing.com