The Secret Antidote to Overindulgence

Many of us worry about the effects of overindulging, over the Festive Season, and well we should! Eating large amounts of carbohydrate and fat rich food over a short period of time is a big shock to your system. But not wanting to be a party pooper I’d love to give you some good news: Drinking freshly squeezed orange juice with your feast can reduce some of the harm!

A 2010 study, in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, investigated the effects of eating a high fat, high carbohydrate (HFHC) meal. The researchers investigated 30 healthy subjects, within normal weight limits, who were given a HFHC meal with either water, glucose water or orange juice. They measured multiple markers pre- and post-meal to determine the effects.

The Effects on the Body of a “Rich” HFHC Meal

The researchers showed that eating a large amount of carbohydrate and fat at one sitting:

• Released high levels of fat and sugar into the bloodstream quickly (postprandial hyperglycemia and hypertriglyceridemia) and levels remained high for over 1 hour.

• Caused inflammatory and oxidative stress, which is prolonged – this increases risk of cardiovascular and inflammatory disease (such as arthritis).

• Raised levels of compounds that cause cell death and increase the risk of gene mutation – which in turn increases cancer risk.

• Increased insulin resistance – which is a precursor to diabetes.

While your body can eventually recover from an occasional HFHC meal, eating this type of food regularly cause cumulative, harmful effects on the body and increases the risk of heart disease, cancer and inflammatory disease.

The Benefits of Freshly Squeezed Orange Juice

The researchers reported that freshly squeezed orange juice has a positive effect on blood markers, when taken with a HFHC meal and may counteract some of the damage caused. Orange juice contains many healthy compounds including flavonoids, naringenin, and hesperidin. In the study orange juice was shown have a positive effect on blood markers, that water and glucose water did not :

• Blood glucose concentrations barely rose.

• Significantly reduced inflammatory and oxidative stress.

• Reduced compounds which increase cell death and mutation and insulin resistance.

Previous studies with pasteurized, refrigerated orange juice did not show the same level of improvement.

Get Squeezing!

The consensus of health advice agrees that the healthiest diets are high in fresh vegetables and fruits and low in processed foods of any type, dairy and meat. Whilst it is better to avoid eating unhealthy food in the first place there are times of the year where many of us like to let our hair down and overindulge! Well now you can reduce the guilt of that festive meal with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. Here’s to a very Happy, Healthy Holiday Season!

Please note:

The study was looking at healthy individuals without pre-existing conditions or disease, so it is not known if these results are generalizable to the whole population. Please follow your physician’s advice at all times.

Source:

American Journal of Clinical Nutrition  2010 Apr; 91(4): 940–949. Orange juice neutralizes the proinflammatory effect of a high-fat, high-carbohydrate meal and prevents endotoxin increase and Toll-like receptor expression.Husam Ghanim et al.

13 Ways to Ease the Transition Back to School

Can you believe it, the long summer vacation is nearly over? The next few weeks mark a delicate and crucial transition for your child or teen… a transition that can influence their success and wellbeing for the year ahead. If your child is switching schools, has learning, social or family problems the transition can be more difficult.

Some of the success of this coming transition is down to factors outside your control, but there are many ways you can prepare to smooth the process.

13 ways to prepare for the big return to school

• Before school returns

1. Health and wellbeing

Organize any medical or dental appointments needed to ensure your child returns to school in good health. Ensure that health forms are completed and sent to the school nurse or team coaches.

2. School information

Check the mail and email for communications from the school. Mark essential dates on your calendar for the coming year, put reminders on your phone for events (practice times etc), print of the schedule and check that paperwork is up to date. If your child has additional needs consider getting in touch with teachers to let them know about your child. Don’t assume they will have been given all the relevant info on your child, or that they have had time to read it. Check and check again, if there are any assignments that are not yet completed. There is nothing worse than having to read a novel, watch a movie and write a report on the last day of the vacation… believe me, we have been there!

3. Buy stuff

If you haven’t already get a list of supplies from the school, then shop. Go early in the day to avoid the craziness at the store. These lists seem to be commonly available for younger children.  For teens, they may not find out until the first week, but there is no harm in stocking up on writing paper and plain folders. The week before school starts is a great time to sort out their closet: completely empty it and only return clothes that fit and are still wearable. Then plan a clothes shopping trip, with a comprehensive list of what’s needed (if you’re savvy you’ll keep a look out for sales and tax-free offers). Always check the school’s clothing policy before you spend a fortune on clothes that are unsuitable. If you work or are short on time online shopping is the way forward, but allow time for delivery.

4. Begin to switch the routine

Over the week before school starts, gradually shift bed-time and mealtimes towards the school routine. You may want to take advantage of any good habits learned at summer camp, such as bed-making in the morning and make this the new norm. You may want to formally document the house rules for the year ahead and discuss it with your child. For example: “no screen time Monday-Thursday until all homework is completed” or “bedtime is at 7… 9… or 11 on school nights” . If you have a difficult child, consider getting them to sign the house rules so that there are no arguments later. You may also want to consider putting a reward system in place, to encourage your child to follow the rules.

5. Visit the school

If your child is moving schools or is unsettled by change, try and visit the school and check out the new classrooms, locker, dining hall etc. For children with special needs, a social story with photographs can be a great aid for transition. If you have moved or if it’s a new school, practice the journey to and from school, and be explicit. We moved one year during the summer, one year and on the first day I lost both my middle schoolers… one got off at the wrong stop and snuck in the house while I was at the bus stop and the other decided to walk to town with a friend, all in the pouring rain. The bus company must have thought I was crazy, calling them to ask the whereabouts of both my kids… not a good start to the year!

6. Create new habits

Always frustrated that your kids dump their bag on the stairs or don’t take their shoes off? The beginning of the school year is a great time to develop new tidy habits. Tell your child exactly where things are to be put, and EVERY time you find something out of place, call them back to correct their error, no matter what they are doing. Soon it will be more trouble to be messy than to put things in the right place, at the outset.

7. Plan the first week’s meals

Reduce your own stress by planning meals for the week ahead… once less thing to worry about when the craziness begins. If your child is taking a packed lunch, review their tastes and plan a healthy lunch. If they are buying lunch discuss your rules for this… yes some kids think a muffin and bag of chips are a balanced meal.

• The first days

8. Keep your schedule simple

Your child may need you to be available to pick up the slack in the coming days, so try and minimize your outside commitments. That way you can be available for whatever the first days throw at your and your child.

9. Be organized

Set alarms for wake-up and activities and leave plenty of time to get things done. Go through their bag with them every night to check if there are letters to be signed, supplies to be bought, first night assignments etc. Be patient and empathic towards your child, who may be finding things a little overwhelming

10. Talk to your child

Make sure your child knows that they can talk to you. You know your child best… some like to tell you every detail, others like to shrug and grunt. Keep the avenues of communication open and don’t push it. Listen without judgement and offer advice sparingly… they need to figure some things out for themselves. Try not to overschedule them in the first weeks, they may be very tired. Tell them stories of your childhood and times you messed up, children love to hear that their parents are human too.

11. Get involved

Attend school events as much as your schedule and patience allow.  Inform teachers that you would like to be informed of problems early on.  Try and get to know any professionals your child may have contact with on a regular basis such as the school nurse if they have a health problem or the counselor if they have behavioral problems.

12. Plan ahead

If your child has a big year ahead, such as senior year of High School, start planning early. There are lots of tools and checklists online, so utilize them, that way you won’t get caught out with deadlines and make an already stressful time much worse. For kids in other grades, try and find out if there are big projects during the school year, that your child might need help with.

13. Reward yourself

No matter how the summer has gone, plan a little reward for yourself… a haircut, coffee with a friend you’ve missed over the summer, a yoga class or just some simple “me-time”… you deserve it! Think about what you want to achieve in the year ahead… return to work, learn to paint, apply for a promotion, climb a mountain, volunteer, take a class… whatever it is, now is the time to start planning to optimize your year ahead.

With a whole new school year dawning, now is the perfect time to get organized and ahead of the game and minimize potential stress for you, your child and your whole family and make 2015-16 a fabulous year!

Written by Dr Leonaura Rhodes

Author of “Beyond Soccer Mom: strategies for a fabulous balanced life”, Health and Happiness Coach, physician, neuroscience geek and busy mom.

Image courtesy of iStock.

courtesy iStock

Are you getting your daily dose of nature?

Last week I was taking a walk with a friend at a local park and noticed on our second lap, that I had failed to notice on my first lap, a field of wild-flowers. We stopped a while and enjoyed the breath-taking natural beauty of this sight. I told my friend about an article I had read earlier that week about nature and wellbeing in the elderly.  The article in  the journal Health and Place, showed that even brief and seemingly small contacts with the natural world are good for wellbeing in the elderly. Examples reported include a koi pond, a view of flowers, hearing the sound of running water or a bee buzzing have a positive impact.

Wild-flowers

Now this all got me thinking about how often we stop and take in nature… really take it in. We are all so busy today, rushing from one place to another or with our faces permanently fixed to a electronics, that we rarely stop and notice the beauty around us. It’s not just the elderly who can benefit from more contact with nature, we all can. Focusing your attention or “becoming present” in nature, is a powerful mindfulness practice, that can help you flourish in all areas of your life.

6 ways to increase your daily dose of nature

1. Take a walk around your yard or closest natural space and focus only on your surroundings… no music, no phone, no distractions. Look for the most beautiful or interesting thing you can see and stop for at least one minute and give this object your complete attention. Notice what you see, what you hear, what you smell, what you taste, what you touch and what you feel.

2. Listen to some nature music that you enjoy… perhaps ocean waves, rainforest sounds or rain. Close your eyes and take in the sounds. Notice how you feel.

3. If you are a parent of young-ish children, take them to the nearest park, trail or beach and play a game that encourage presence: eye-spy, a scavenger hunt or play “trackers” (a game with 2 groups, where one goes ahead and sets a trail of clues, which the other team follow to find the first).

4. Exercise or just take a stroll outside, alone or with a friend, and be determined to pay attention to the world around you.

5. If you are really stuck inside and really can’t get out, look through old photos of favorite natural scenes, watch a nature video online or pay attention to a plant or flowers and really take in the detail.

6. Try a nature meditation such as…

http://www.meditation4moms.com/welcome-to-day-12-connecting-with-nature/

or practice your normal meditation regime in a natural place.

The beauty of nature is a gift that we have access to, and if we take more opportunities to soak it up and enjoy it, it will help us thrive in all areas of our life. So treat yourself to an extra dose of nature today!

7 steps to better mental health

May is Mental Health Month in the USA. Just last week I was talking to a coaching client about their loved one’s depression, and she said to me “but mental illness is not as bad as a real illness”. This perception that mental illness is not real or that it is not severely debilitating and sometimes even life threatening, is endemic in our society. It  leads to the continued taboo, inequitable health insurance provision (try getting cognitive behavioral therapy on insurance, in CT) and intolerance of society and employers to people suffering from mental health problems.

The CDC defines Mental Health as the “a state of well-being in which the individual realizes his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.” Mental health is a continuum that includes serious mental illness such as bipolar disorder, anorexia, psychosis, depression, anxiety, dementia and chronic stress through to positive, optimal mental health (estimated in only 17% of Americans).

Mental Illness is defined as “health conditions that are characterized by alterations in thinking, mood, or behavior (or some combination thereof) associated with distress and/or impaired functioning.” Studies suggest that mental illness affects about 25% of American adults and will affect nearly 50% in their lifetime. Most common of all the mental illnesses, depression affects an estimated 26% of adults and is on the rise. By 2020 depression will be second only to heart disease in the causes of worldwide disability. And it’s not just adults who suffer, the National Alliance for Mental Health estimates that approximately 20 percent of 13 to 18 year olds experience severe mental disorders in a given year. For ages 8 to 15, the estimate is 13 percent.

What about the financial costs of mental illness? Well,  in 2008 serious mental illness was estimated to cost the US economy $193.2 billion in lost earnings per year. “Lost earning potential, costs associated with treating coexisting conditions, Social Security payments, homelessness and incarceration are just some of the indirect costs associated with mental illnesses that have been difficult to quantify,” said NIMH Director Thomas R. Insel, M.D. The indirect costs to the individual and their families of reduced quality of life, energy, and attention, damaged relationships and lost opportunities are immeasurable.

I hope I have convinced you that mental illness is real and significant… and it’s not going away!

Preventing mental illness, optimizing positive mental health

For too long, the medical profession has focused its’ attention solely on the treatment of mental illness. When I trained as a physician and counsellor in the UK, there was no mention of prevention. In Public Health we did talk about prevention, but this rarely filtered down the frontline doctors or to the public. There is a wealth of evidence that in the majority of people mental health can be improved, and mental illness prevented or treated in the early stages, with simple measures, before it becomes disabling. So what can we do as individuals to improve, optimize and stabilize our mental health?

Courtesy of iStock

Seven steps to better mental health

Be healthy: like any other organ in your body, healthy lifestyle improves the health and function of the brain. Factors like diet, exercise, sleep, hydration and avoidance of poisons such as cigarettes and excessive alcohol are essential to improving your mental health.

Be connected: we humans are social animals, we thrive when we surround ourselves with positive people. Take notice of which relationships make you feel good… and those that sap your energy. Spend more time with those positive people, limit time with toxic people or if they are close to you, look for ways to improve the relationship. People love helping people, so if you are suffering reach out to those positive people and ask for support, they will gain as much from helping you, as you will gain from their help. It’s win-win.

Be inquisitive: science has shown that our brain is constantly rewiring itself, and new learning keeps it healthy. Learn a new hobby, skill, sport, art, instrument or language or delve deeper into an area of interest or explore your world. The “flow-state” which is achieved when we are highly focused on a meaningful task that we enjoy, is medicine for our minds.

Be generous: when we give our time, energy, support or money to others, it is good for our brain and mind. Not only that it makes the world a better place. Whether you are giving to your children, to help them grow, your community, a cause, religious group or charity, it is all beneficial to you and to them.

Be positive: neuroscience research shows that negative thinking is bad for your brain and body, positive thinking is good for it. If you are a “glass half empty” person, you would benefit from learning to shift the direction of your thoughts. Negative thinking is just a bad habit… it can be overcome by introducing and practicing the new habit of positive thinking. This may sound obvious but it can be challenging to do. An expert coach or therapist may be able to help you.

Be mindful: there is a rapidly increasing body of evidence of the benefits of mindfulness practice to our physical and mental health. Mindfulness is the practice of becoming aware of the flow of your thoughts and energy and then learning to exert some control over them. Practices range from diaphragmatic breathing, gratitude journaling, meditation, prayer and yoga through to simply taking a mindful walk in nature. Short periods of mindfulness give you a brief, yet significant break from the stresses of the day.

Be playful: it’s hard to be sad or anxious when you are having fun or laughing, as this gives you a boost of powerful endorphins, the happy chemicals.  Take time daily to laugh, have fun, be silly and playful: Watch your favorite comedy movie; play with your children or your pet; dance around the kitchen to your favorite song or take a zumba class with your best friend!

The quality of your mental health is essential to the quality of your life. Don’t wait until depression, anxiety or dementia strike… take control of your brain with some positive action today.

Sources:

• Center for Disease Control

• National Alliance on Mental Health

• NHS UK

Stress… the productivity and engagement thief

Stress costs the US economy $300 billion per year. Most people are aware of the negative effects of stress on physical and mental health, but what about the effect of stress on focus, engagement and productivity?

 

How stress affects engagement, focus and productivity

Well it’s all to do with brain function and arousal. Stress is the body’s reaction to events in life or the work stimulus. Some stress can be positive: the brain and body become energized (known in neuroscience as “arousal”), brain function, motivation, focus, engagement and productivity increase. But there is a tipping point, when increasing arousal begins to affect brain function and focus, engagement and productivity decline. And this is the negative stress, that is commonly referred to as “stress”.

The image shows the the relationship between performance and arousal of the brain, for a cognitively challenging task (known as Yerkes-Dobson law). Simple or habitual tasks and those requiring stamina and persistence show a different relationship: increasing arousal leads to improved motivation and performance.

The effects of stress on the brain, are not global. Stress causes deterioration in function of some parts of the brain more than others. World-renowned psychiatrist and brain researching maverick Daniel Amen has showed that stress affects frontal lobes (executive function center), cerebellum (balance center) and amygdala, hippocampus and temporal lobes (emotional and memory centers). The consequences of this include negative effects on motivation, focus, judgement, impulse control, empathy, balance and coordination, emotional regulation, response to events  and memory.

Stress and the business world

So what’s the relevance of all this to the business world? Well stress and burnout are increasingly common in the workforce. Not only does this impact the health and wellbeing of the individual employees, but it also reduces focus, engagement and productivity… and ultimately the bottom line… profit. I have a question for you: “If you knew there were serious inefficiencies in your business would you ignore them?” I’m guessing the answer is “NO”. Now I’ve just explained why stress is so bad for performance, causing significant inefficiencies among your workforce. So my next question is “Are you doing everything you can to reduce stress among your employees?”

The good news is that most people can learn to better manage their stress and when they do… you guessed it… focus, engagement and productivity improve. Most of the chronic effects of stress are reversible. Learning to manage stress must begin with education. Most people would rather not be stressed, but they lack the knowledge and skills to prevent and reduce it. A good stress management program will include strategies to identify sources of stress and deal with any that are reversible, improve the health of body and mind, so the response to stress will be appropriate and development of a stress management toolkit.

If you are a CEO, CFO, manager or HR specialist, I urge you to look into programs to help your employees manage stress, it might end up being one of the best investments you ever make.

To learn more about how to reduce in your workplace visit: www.WellbeingInYourWorkplace.com

Your heart… Your life!

Cardiovascular disease which includes heart disease and stroke leads to 33.6% of all US deaths and this just the tip of the iceberg: nearly 4 million people suffer from cardiovascular disease and report disability from illness. The CDC estimates that approximately 200,000 of these 700,000 deaths are due to lifestyle choices and are therefore preventable. In 2010, the estimated total spending on cardiovascular diseases in the United States was estimated to be $444 billion: that’s about $1 of every $6 spent on health care in the USA.

Prevention is key

While some people have an increased genetic risk of cardiovascular disease, for most people lifestyle choices play a large role in personal risk. Cardiovascular disease severely affects your ability to live a happy, fulfilling, successful life and it is essential that we all take some personal responsibility for reducing our risk.

5 things you can do to significantly reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease

1. Don’t smoke: Cigarette smoking increases your risk of coronary heart disease it also increases blood pressure, reduces exercise tolerance and increases blood clotting.

2. Exercise regularly: Studies show that doing more than 150 minutes (2 hours and 30 minutes) of moderate physical activity or an hour of vigorous physical activity every week will reduce your risk of coronary heart disease by about 30%.  

3. Watch your weight: carrying more than a few extra pounds increases your risk of high blood pressure, diabetes, hardening of the arteries (atherosclerosis) all of which put you at higher risk of cardiovascular disease.

4. Manage your stress: it is hard to accurately estimate the effect of stress on cardiovascular disease, as the effects of stress are complex. But we do know that stress increases your blood pressure and cholesterol, speeds up aging and death of cells, makes weight gain more likely and increases frequency of bad habits such as smoking, overeating, inactivity and excessive alcohol consumption, all of which are bad for your cardiovascular health.

5. Get good advice on managing your health. There are many symptoms and signs of impending cardiovascular disease including: hypertension, hypercholesterolaemia, high blood sugar and excess belly fat. In combination these risk factors are now known as Metabolic Syndrome or Syndrome X. These should not be ignored, as if treated early serious illness can be limited or prevented. Seek out advice from a holistic practitioner, as there is increasing evidence that inflammation and sugar addiction are implicated in these.

Employers have a responsibility too

If you are an employer, you should know that the health of your business is integrally tied to the health of your employees. As cardiovascular disease is a major cause of chronic ill health, it is also a major cause of absenteeism, poor productivity and health care costs. Large corporations are beginning to invest in Corporate Wellbeing Programs for their employees, and these have been shown to have an impressive return on investment and reduce the impact of chronic illness. Small to medium sized businesses need to do the same.

Your heart, Your life!

Your heart health is essential to the health of your body, brain, mind and spirit. Having a healthy heart and brain increases your energy levels, your focus, productivity and your relationships. It really is win-win all around.

Sources: CDC and Heart.org

Health is your Greatest Wealth

Now I know I am a doctor and I would say this, but Health is Your Greatest Wealth!

When you have good health you have energy, vitality and zest for life. With good health it is easier to have wellbeing in the other areas of your life such as career, finances and personal growth.

The absence of health is disease, discomfort, pain and suffering. In this state it is so much harder to have wellbeing in other areas of your life. And of course, the absence of health in the extreme is death: the absence of life.

We all have a responsibility to ourselves and our family to take our health seriously. To value it, cherish it and work hard to protect it.

A simple way to look at health is like your finances. You have health liabilities and health assets.

Simply put the way to increase your health is to increase your health assets and decrease your health liabilities.

Balance of health

Increase your health assets

• Genetics (while you can’t change your genes but you can do things to stop certain genes being triggered)
• Nutritious diet
• Positive thinking
• Self-regulation (learning to control certain body and brain functions)
• Exercise
• Sleep
• Healthy habits
• Positive relationships

 

Decrease your health liabilities

Known in the medical field as risk factors! There are some health liabilities that you can’t do much about like genetic risk factors or being born with an inoperable physical deformity. However one risk factor does not define your outcome.

Health liabilities include:

• Dehydration
• Lack of Exercise
• Unhealthy habits
• Not seeking medical advice for health problems
• Contact or ingestion of poisons (such as smoking) or unhealthy food products
• Physical harm
• Emotional harm including stress
• Extremes of weight
• Poor hygiene such as oral and skin

For more advice on protecting your greatest asset: your health visit…

www.positivehealthandwellbeing.com

or email drleonaura@positivehealthandwellbeing.com

My love affair with stress!

April is Stress Awareness Month and I am celebrating! Stress is one of my favorite subjects. Yes, I know I am strange, stress is an odd fascination.

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My whole adult life has been filled with stress… medical school, 100 hour weeks as a doctor, two very sick children, leaving my profession, being a full-time mom, returning to my profession, leaving my home country, leaving my profession, running my own business, launching a book, starting a new business and so on… Stress has been ever present in my life, as it is for many. 

There have been times I have managed stress well… and other times when I have been a mess. Stress has led to depression, anxiety, poor health and weight gain. It sapped my energy, stunted my emotional growth and overshadowed the joy in my world. I was so good at being stressed that when things in my life were going well, I created my own. Thankfully I had an aha moment when I realized that my stress was harming me and everyone I loved. I became determined to take control of my stress and learn strategies to deal with it. I became an avid student of stress management techniques. When I became a coach and neurotherapist, it seemed natural to me to help other people overcome their stress.

As a neuroscience geek I am fascinated by the fact that even though we are the most evolved creatures on the planet, we still react to stress as if we were cave-people. When an event occurs that we perceive to be a threat, hormonal, neurochemical and electrochemical cascades are triggered, getting the body ready to respond with the fight and flight response: heart rate, blood pressure, breathing and muscle tension increase; digestive, immune and reproductive functions are side tracked, after all if you might die imminently digesting food, fighting infection and sex can wait. Now this is fine for a short time, if the threat is real and impending, but long periods of sustained stress are bad for us, causing a multitude of physical and mental health problems, along with unhelpful behaviors, relationship problems, focus and productivity decline.

The problem with stress and the reason it is such a maladaptive behavior is that the trigger for stress doesn’t even have to be a dangerous event. Today much of our stress is triggered by our thoughts. Say person A is walking in the woods and they see a dog, and they have Cynophobia (dog phobia: yes I had to look that up) when they see the dog they think “arghhh I am terrified of dogs” and trigger a stress reaction. Person B loves dogs, in fact they prefer dogs to people, when they see a dog they think “oh look a lovely, cute cuddly dog” and they trigger feelings of love and caring. Remember Descartes famous saying “I think therefore, I am”, in todays world this should read “I think I am stressed, therefore I am”!

Courtesy of stock

The cool thing about stress (well I think it’s cool, but as I said, I am a neuroscience geek) is that learning to manage it, is easier than you might think and has many benefits. As you can imagine I can talk about stress for hours, but here are my…

3 simple steps to managing stress

Step 1: identify your sources of stress and deal with any that are reversible,

Step 2: improve the health of your body and mind, so you have a more appropriate response to stress,

Step 3: learn to develop a stress management toolkit, a list of things that help you, personally reduce your stress. This might include: exercise, walking in the woods, meditation, massage, riding your motorbike, visualization… whatever works FOR YOU!

Learn to love your stress

Stress has made me resilient and flexible, it has taught me many lessons about what is important in life. Everyday I seek new ways to reduce my stress and to help others overcome theirs. I am no master of stress… mastery is a journey and I am an eager student. I used to suffer with stress, now I embrace it. I hope you will embrace it too!

Review your 2014 … Your regrets

Many people wait until the New Year to set goals for the year ahead, but the really productive, proactive people begin to set their goals before the year ends. Regrets may seem like an odd place to start with reviewing your year, but they often hold the secret to the goals you should be setting for the year ahead.

What is regret

Regret are feelings of sadness or disappointment over something that has happened or something that has not happened. The “would have,” “could have,” “should have” conversations that people have, all too often. We rarely regret things that didn’t matter or were not meaningful to us, and because of that regrets give us clues, to what IS meaningful and important to us.

5 most common regrets of the dying

Palliative care nurse Bonnie Ware produced a most fascinating list of the “regrets of the dying”. Here are the top five:

• “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” This is, of course, shows the importance of living true to your authentic self.

• “I wish I didn’t work so hard.” This regret occurs when we live our life without being true to what we value. Of course, work is very necessary from a financial perspective but it is tricky to get the work-life balance right. By being clear about your values, you can protect yourself from this future regret.

• “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.” Again, this regret arises from repressing your authentic self and not letting it have a courageous voice.  So let that inner voice sing!

• “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.” Connection and love are essential human needs but often we overlook them when life is very busy. You can’t keep in touch with everyone you ever meet, but important relationships and friendships are worth some time and energy.

• “I wish that I had let myself be happier.” Imagine realizing on your deathbed that all you needed to be happy had been with you your whole life. Happiness is a choice. It is about contentment with what you have. It is about living with purpose and passion. It is about stopping to notice the good things in life and embracing them.

Your Regrets

Grab a piece of paper or page in your journal and answer the following questions (writing these down activates more of your brain and helps you process the information better!):

• What do I regret doing in 2014 and why?

• What do I regret not doing in 2014 and why?

• What are the biggest regrets in my life so far and why?

• What regrets do I want to avoid having on my deathbed and why?

• What could I do in 2015 to avoid these regrets and how?

If you struggle with this consider 7 key areas of your life: How you spend or manage your Time, Physical Health, Mental Health, Relationships, Career, Personal Growth, Finances and Environment (home, town, country, planet).

Once you have done this don’t dwell on the negative, use what you have learned to make sure these regrets do not remain regrets. Turn your regrets on their head, allow them to become the inspiration for your goal setting for 2015 and beyond. Next time we’ll discuss what you are grateful for!

Adapted from Beyond Soccer Mom: Strategies for a fabulous balanced life, By Leonaura Rhodes (Morgan James 2014)

Image courtesy of istock.

Courtesy of istock

It’s gratitude time!

When I moved from the UK to Connecticut, I was at first confused by Thanksgiving. But as I experienced it and learned the history of this very American holiday, I embraced it and it is now my favorite. It is a time of celebration of family and of gratitude, without the stress and emotional rollercoaster of gift giving. Sadly, the spirit of Thanksgiving is quickly replaced by the spirit of mass consumerism, of craving “stuff” and saving money. This saddens me because what people really desire, deep down, is usually not more belongings. My research and that of many others shows that what people really want is to FEEL good, to experience feelings of balance, peace, joy, love, connection, certainty, excitement, adventure, growth and meaning.

Courtesy of istock

My latest episode of The Busy Mom Show, provides a perfect antidote to this Black Friday craziness. I interview Life Coach, Sherry Richert Belul who’s project The New Black Friday, guides us to return to the true spirit of Thanksgiving and giving meaningful gifts to our loved ones. Sherry’s concept is that instead of shopping on Black Friday… create love lists, for your loved ones. A lovelist is a written list, of all the reasons you love them and how much we enjoy being around them. Can you imagine receiving a “love list” instead of a pair of socks or a badly knitted sweater, this holiday season! To watch the show visit: http://thebusymomshow.com/guest-sherry-richert-belul-the-new-black-friday/

Ideas for creating a meaningful Thanksgiving and Black Friday:

• Get clear about what Thanksgiving really means to you and your family, and try and maintain this spirit.
• Practice gratitude, whether this is through journaling, family prayer, or a round table expression of gratitude during Thanksgiving dinner. Practicing gratitude is good for your brain, according to the prominent psychiatrist Dr Daniel Amen.
• Spend some time connecting with your loved ones and doing something creative, fun, energetic or memorable.
• Make a list of loved ones you have not connected with for some time and reach out to them.
• Create a love list, for those special people in your life.
• If you are starting your holiday shopping, think outside the box and try and think about what your loved ones, really want. Consider gifts that are experiences, rather than physical.

So here’s to having a wonderful Thanksgiving and Holiday season, abundant in all the things you really desire!

To learn more ideas on how to improve your health, happiness, success and abundance and help your whole family thrive please subscribe to this blog or visit www.drleonaurarhodes.com

As always, I’d love to hear your comments and feedback.